TO BRIAN/CLOUD,

I didn't want to post this on MSN or Twitter or anything like that, so I decided to make use of my blog and, yeah, write this. >:D

Anyway. 2010 has been a good year to me, and it has been a good year mostly thanks to you. We've grown closer this year, and I'd pretty much to stay that way, because it's so nice knowing that I have you in my life. We've had our ups and downs, and having a stupid little fall out always brings me down, it makes me feel like shit, and I'd literally do anything to fix them fall outs. Anyway, not going to talk about that.

You've always been there for me when I've been down, like I've always been there for you. You're a true fucking friend to me, and they don't come around often in my life. Having a best friend like you definitely makes my life worth living, so yeah. :'] I always thank you after every time you cheer me up, but I always feel like thanking you isn't enough, but honestly, it means the entire world to me.

I hope we stay friends for a long time. I'm so glad I decided to call of any last minute plans to end 2010, and then enter 2011 with an amazing person like you. I hope 2011 brings you all of the happiness and luck in the world, because you deserve it more than anything. :)

Love you lots. :)

I hope when we meet again, I do actually know who you are, lmfao.

xxxx

NEW YEAR. NEW BLOG.

--LINK IN NEXT POST, IF INTERESTED~--

Will you be single over summer?
I hope not. >_>

Do you think someone likes the same person you like?
I don't know.

What was the last drink you had?
Coca Cola. ♡

Would you rather spend a day outside with friends or inside alone?
Hmm, depends. I'd love a day out with my friends who live further away. >:D

Do you have feelings for someone?
Yeah. (:

What do you currently hear right now?
Some song on TV, lmao.

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
I'd love to be in Scotland with my friends.

Does anyone love you?
I hope so. :S

How has the week been?
Pretty shit, pretty good.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
Kind of. :|

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Depends on the situation. (Y)

Could you handle living together with the last person you texted?
I can't remember who I last texted. :| Probably Brian. If so, then yeah.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
Kind of.

what does your last text message say?
"Be home at 11:30" from Dad.

Which would be more meaningful to you: I love you a lot, I love you so much?
'I love you so much'.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
Jeans.

Could you date someone taller than you?
Yeah.

You like pepsi or coke?
I like both, prefer coke.

Do you get along with EVERYONE in your family?
Nah.

Is the person you last texted single?
Nah.

Do you still like someone you shouldn't?
Nah.

Have you ever tripped in public?
Yes. >_>

Do you like long hugs?
Love them.

Did you sleep alone last night?
Yeah.

Are any of your friends taller than you?
Not a lot, actually.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed?
Yes.

Excited for anything?
Not necessarily.

Ever stayed up all night on the phone?
Naaah.

Have you hugged someone within the last week?
Yeah.

Is the room you are in right now clean or a mess?
Clean.

Is there anything you would like to tell someone?
No.

Do you fall for people easily?
No.

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
When I have long hair, I want short. When I have short hair, I want long, so...

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
Nah, love him. (Y)

Do you know what you're going to put as the subject of this?
Nope. x___x

What is the lowest grade you have right now?
Merit, lul.

Will you kiss the last person you kissed again?
No.

Do you have anything metal on you?
Aye. My lip stud.

What do you think about people who party?
Meh, don't care.

Does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?
My cousin? Of course.

Did you kiss someone more than 20 times in 09?
Naaah.

Think back to yesterday, what were you doing around this time?
Sleeping.

You think "I love you" are strong words?
Hm, yeah.

Last person you where in a car with other then family?
Cab driver. Lul.

Do any girls like the last person you kissed?
Probs.

Someone leaves a note and flowers on your car, cute or tacky?
Depends.

Is there someone that you can go to in sweats, hair a mess and still feel comfy?
Ayeee.

Do you have any hickeys?
Nup.

Is there a member of the opposite sex that makes you cry a lot?
My dad?

Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a boy?
No.

Do you fall for people easily?
Not really.

Do you have to sleep with a television on?
I can't. xD

Do you think you are a good person?
Yeah.

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance?
Mhm.

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Sleepin'.

Has anyone ever sang to you?
Aye.

Do you like your best friend's boyfriend/girlfriend?
One of my bestie's has one amazing girlfriend. 8D

Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo?
Nope.

Who is the funniest person to talk to drunk?
My dad. :| Or Brian.

Are you dating the last person you kissed?
Naah.

Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
Yeah.

Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time?
No.

What's something you've been doing all your life?
Breathing dude.

Don't tell me lies, have you been under the influence in the past 24 hours?
No.

Do you think someone has feelings for you?
I hope that certain someone does.

Do you think two people can last forever?
Yeah.

Will you regret your next kiss?
Who knows?

The person you like at the moment finds someone new, what is your reaction?
I'd probably become a state. :l

Have you found someone that you really, really, really like?
Yeah. :) And I've stuck by that person for exactly 2 years. <3

Do you like to cuddle?
Yes. ^___^

Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months?
Well, if I've lasted 2 years with the same person, I'd like to think I'd last more, so yeah?

Have you ever kissed someone who smokes?
Yeah.

Are you excited for anything?
Hmm. Not entirely. Kind of tomorrow.

How are you feeling right now?
Pretty good, I guess.

What are you doing right now?
Writing out this, tweeting and playing games with Brian over MSN. <3

What should you be doing right now?
Tidying. :l

Are you worried about anything right now?
Yeah.

Do you hate the last person you kissed?
Hmm. Yeah. Could say so.

What will your next piercing be?
Either the other side of my lip, or a nose piercing.

Who was the last person you spoke to on your cell?
Mother, I think.

When was the last time you watched a horror movie?
Erm, can't quite remember.

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
I have no idea.

Did you have any unread messages when you woke up today?
No. No one loves me.

Do you take walks often?
Not as much as I'd like to.

Are you texting anyone right now?
Nope. No credit.

Are you going to get hurt anytime soon?
Well, it's usual for me to get hurt, so probably, yeah.

Why are you confused?
I'm confused? Oh. Thanks for confusing me. You confuser.

Has someone ever made you a big promise & broke it?
Yeah.

Are you currently talking to/ texting/ instant messaging anyone?
Two out of three, there. ;D

Do you prefer drinking water from a bottle or from the sink?
From a bottle, fo sure.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past four days?
Only with my cousin.

Who’s the last person you had a long phone call with?
My mum. Cause I'm a loner.

Who makes you the happiest?
All of my friends. :]

What’s the last thing you drank?
PEPSI BABY!

Where’s your cell phone?
Upstairs.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
Yeah.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
No. I'm in a fucking dressing gown.

Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind?
Always.

How do you sleep? On your stomach, back, side, etc?
Only really on my side. Sometimes stomach/back, though.

Would it hurt seeing the person you last kissed kissing someone else?
Nah.

Do you own a lighter?
Nope.

If you rented an apartment, would you rather be on the top or bottom floor?
I don't know. x] I think bottom~

Do you think people talk about you behind ur back?
Oh. I live knowing that people talk about me behind my back.

Name something you’re doing tomorrow?
Nothing. Fun, huh?

Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours?
Hugged, yeah.

Can you commit to one person and one person only?
Yes.

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away?
Mhhm.

People that have saved me.

Okay. I'm going to do a major long blog post now, and it's going to just include those people that have saved me, and have made me who I am today, so yeah... enjoy reading, I guess?

Corey Taylor:

Okay. Anyone who knows me obviously knows that I have never-ending love for this specific man. Corey Todd Taylor has saved my life in so many ways. His music just amazes me, he is so talented, as are the other band members in both of his bands (who I love, too). The lyrics he creates always seems to affect me, in a good way, obviously. It's sometimes as if he understands me. Sounds pathetic, I know, but it's just how I feel. Even knowing that a few years ago, he tried to end his own life through suicide really, really, upsets me. I seriously cry at the thought of that happening. It has proven to me that you do -not- need to end your life to end all of your problems, because you can resolve them problems and then those problems will go away. I've been drawn to suicide many times, but this man has stopped me from it. Whether it's by listening to his music, his interviews, reading about him, or even him tweeting, it's stopped me, and I'm so fucking thankful. Having him sending me that one private message over Twitter made my entire life. He knows that I have potential in life, and he wants me to prove that to people that have always brought me down, and that's something that every human wants from their hero. I even had the priveledge of meeting this man, after 3 years of looking up to him, and that was by far, the best day of my entire life. So, thank you so much, Corey, for making me who I am today.

Madina Lake:

This band has changed me in so many different ways. I've loved them since the day they started, and my love for them has never left. Like I said with Corey, their lyrics in actually /all/ of their songs relate to how I feel, and all of their songs have that reassurance in them that everything will still be okay. These guys are true and utter heroes, and all four of them are completely oblivious to it. Having Matthew Leone (far left) being voted as Hero of the Year in the recent Kerrang! Magazine Readers' Poll made me so fucking proud of him and the band, because there is no other man that deserved that spot after all the shit Matthew went through earlier this year. It amazes me that the entire music family came together for the first time in ages to give Matthew their well wishes, and actually proclaim him a hero and a legend, even if them people despise the music he creates, and that proves a lot. The reassurance in all of their songs have saved my life, and being able to thank Nathan Leone (second to right) and Dan Torelli (far right) personally made my life, and knowing that Nathan and Dan (and of course, Mateo and Matthew) love me means so much to me, even hearing them say it to my face made my life worth living. Thank you so much, you dorks. <3

Sylvia Dos Santos:

This will be my last thank you for this blog post, and that beautiful girl up there is one of the best friends a girl could ever have. Sylvia and I haven't had the best of years as the beginning of the year really brought a downfall to our friendship, and if I had to be honest, those first few months were the worst months of my entire life. I always tell this girl how much she means to me, and I thank her as much as I can, but no matter how much I thank her, I still don't feel like I've thanked her enough. I do believe she's oblivious to the fact that she's one of the main people in my life that have saved me, because I've never told her that, but now I'm saying it, and I'm thanking her once again. So, thank you so fucking much, Sylvia, for changing me into the person I am today, and I believe I'm a better person than I was a few years back. We seem to be drifting apart again, because I haven't spoken to you in what seems and feels like forever, and I haven't seen you in what seems and also feels forever. I never, ever, want to lose you as a best friend, because you mean my entire life, and I never thought that I stupid girl like me would be able to have a fantastic, caring, beautiful best friend like you in my life. So thank you SO much, and I love you millions.

xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks for forgetting me.

It's nice to know that you still care.

If you fucking missed me, you'd make an effort to see me.

Whatever.

Beast and the Harlot.

I thought I'd make a quick list of whom I've met, seen in concert and what's coming up, just for the sake of it. ;]

SEEN-

• Bullet For My Valentine x2
• Madina Lake x2
• My Chemical Romance x2
• Stone Sour
• Lacuna Coil
• Rise To Remain
• Bleeding Through
• Mindless Self Indulgence
• Kaissius
• Twin Atlantic
• Lawnmower Deth
• Black Tide
• (Some other band that I've since forgotten the name of - sorry.)

MET-

• Nathan Leone (Madina Lake)
• Dan Torelli (Madina Lake)
• Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance)
• Mikey Way (My Chemical Romance)
• Frank Iero (My Chemical Romance)
• Joey Jordison (Slipknot/Murderdolls)
• Corey Taylor (Stone Sour/Slipkn0t)
• Roy Mayorga (Stone Sour)
• James Root (Slipknot/Stone Sour)
• Josh Rand (Stone Sour)
• Pete Doherty (Libertines)
• Big Show (WWE Wrestler)
• Bret Hart (WWE Hall of Famer/Wrestler/Legend)
• Ted DiBiase (WWE Hall of Famer/Wrestling legend)
• Ted DiBiase Jr. (WWE Wrestler)

UPCOMING-

• Bullet For My Valentine x2
• Bring Me The Horizon x2
• Atreyu x2

Unbound.

So, I finally have my Internet back after like 5 days without it. I must say, I'm beginning to cope without it when it runs out, which is a great thing seeing as I was absolutely obsessed and addicted to the internet a few months back.

I'm still ill and still off college. Good thing is that I'm kind of all better, so I'll be going back on Monday. Kind of nervous about it all, though, because I've missed so much time off, and I've probably missed so much, and it's going to be kind of awkward as I guess everyone is in groups just the now for the projects and that. And I don't have a group as of yet. Hello loner Kayleigh, lol. It's not a change, really...

So, I broke my promise on not listening to any new My Chemical Romance songs until the album was released. I ended up putting Planetary (GO), SING, DESTROYA and S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W on my iTunes. I must say, all of them songs are absolutely fucking fantastic. You can really tell that My Chemical Romance have officially changed. Who knows if it's for the best or not? I mean, I love their new material. I think it's bloody ace, but, I do think that I'm going to start missing their old work more than ever. It's so weird how much a band can change just over a period of years.

My hero replied to me on Twitter today. I swear, that man just keeps me sane. I've come to a conclusion that I'm going to start writing out this letter type thing online, and then direct message him it, just so he knows how much he's helped me in my life. I'll probably do a dedication blog to him on here in the near future - so keep your eyes peeled. :)

Haha, someone else replied to me on Twitter today. If you watch X Factor, you've probably heard of the contestant "Storm Lee"... yeah, he replied to me today on Twitter, just tweeting me something along the lines of "hello baby;)" hahah! I found it SO amusing. It made me giggle. My mum has been put off him now though, haha.. oops!

I'm going to end this blog now, because I have nothing else to really blog about. Yeah, this is a boring post, a lame post... but whatever. Deal. With. It.

;)

Devour.

Heyhey!

Thought I'd finally blog about my second concert in October. This concert was occurring on the 26th of October, and it was the one and only My Chemical Romance.

My Chemical Romance (l-r Ray Toro, Frank Iero, Gerard Way, Mikey Way)

Now, I wasn't originally supposed to be seeing this band live during their World Contamination tour, as I sadly didn't get tickets first hand as they sold out quick. I actually didn't win any competitions either to see them live. However, my friends, friend, Poppy, was selling a ticket only 3 days before the actual concert. I successfully managed to claim that ticket, and ta da, I got to see them sexy four guys live.

Their date in London was their first date here in the UK in three years. I had to go to it. I just had to. My first ever concert was seeing these boys live on November 15th, 2007. Now, that would be three years ago on Monday. How time flies, huh? Anyway, the other reason why I was so desperate to see them is because they were going to be playing some of their new material off their new album Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys. I could not wait.

Anyway, ON TO THE ACTUAL DAY...

I woke up at 5am after only 2 hours sleep, I was definitely going to enjoy this day. I had to meet Rachel in Camden at 6, so I had to get ready to leave in a short amount of time. Unfortunately, I was half an hour late, but it didn't matter. We got to Hammersmith Apollo after a roughly 40 minute bus journey and found the venue in no time. There was already roughly 50 odd people there. I must admit, I wasn't that shocked.

I queued with Rachel for a good hour or so, until I had to make my way home again, and this is when I'm going to skip parts, just for the sake of it.

Anyway, I got back to the venue at around 3pm, and met up with Laura and Poppy, who had the ticket for me. We queued and queued and queued until 7pm, when doors eventually opened. It was actually a nightmare getting into the venue as the security guards stupidly opened up random barriers, so technically, there was no fucking point in queuing. Anyway, we eventually got in and were like 3 rows from barrier at the far left, right where Frank and Mikey would be. Exciting stuff.

Blah blah blah, the support "Twin Atlantic" were good, I guess. :] And My Chemical Romance were fucking fantastic. They played so many songs off their first album, Bullets and so many songs from the Revenge era. They also played the odd few from The Black Parade.. and four new songs from Danger Days including "Na Na Na", "The Only Hope For Me Is You", "Planetary (Go!)" and "The Kids From Yesterday".

Overall, the entire day was fucking beautiful. I loved it.

And that's the end of this blog, I'll blog about meeting one of my heroes another time, my hand hurts.

Ciao for nao.

Vermilion.

Hiii.

Well, it's 8:30pm, I've only been up a few hours. This is due to lack of sleep during the night due to my illness. Yeah, I haven't really explained on my blog that I'm ill, but I guess I could mention now - I have a throat infection, major chest pains and the occasional kidney pains. And on top of that, I recently caught a cold. And I also have cramp pains, so yes, I am a moody bitch today, but you can't really blame me, huh? ANYWAY, yeah, I've wasted the day away, I woke up at 5pm. Such a bad thing for me to do. I hate waking up after 12. Makes me feel rotten.

Anyhow, I'm going through a mixture of emotions. One of them is guilt. I recently received a text message from my uncle, saying that he can't wait to see me next month when he's down here in London for the New Year period. I stupidly text back saying that I'm excited to see him too even though I won't be seeing him.

I won't be seeing him because my family (Dad, mum and my younger brother, Ross) and I will be travelling to Gullane, Scotland for Christmas on the early morning of Christmas Eve. My dad, mum and brother will then be travelling back the 27th of December, when I will be staying there until after New Years. While I'm in Scotland, I will also be travelling to Glasgow to see the other side of my family, but my Uncle won't be there, because he'll be down here. My uncle travels back to Scotland on the 4th of January, so I won't see him at all. Ugh, shit shit shit.

I'm also feeling really upset because I don't know if I'll ever be coming back to London. I mean, yeah, I'm so fucking happy to have been given the opportunity to live up there - Scotland is my home, the place I belong. Basically my happy place. But, I've grown up in London, I've made the best fucking friends I ever could have, so just leaving them behind on such a short notice actually breaks my heart. I don't know if I'll ever see them again. I don't know if I'll ever stay in contact with them. I don't know if they'll even remember me in the next few years, and that petrifies me. A part of me doesn't want to me, but the other part of me wants to move there, and quite frankly, I don't know what part I am going to stick with. Fuck. My. Life.

For now, bye.

♥

Your God.

Hey.

I did say in my previous post that I was going to continue with the concert and meeting one of my hero posts in the next blog post, but I'm not going to just yet. It requires a lot of writing and quite frankly, I'm not in the best of moods to write about it right now.

Meh, yeah, maybe thinking about them two days may lighten up my mood a bit, but I think I'm far too upset right now that nothing will cheer me up. I think all I need is to relax with a hot beverage and a nice movie, but nope, that's not going to happen as my brother has taken the DVD player into his bedroom. Hey, I could watch a movie on my laptop I guess... wait, nope, not happening either because my laptop isn't currently accepting anything like that. So basically, I'm screwed.

And it's weird. I don't even know what has really upset me. I mean, almost an hour ago, I was happy because my favourite band got through in the Fuse polls. Maybe it was the fact that all of the other fans started hating on Stone Sour because they got through? I don't know. It wasn't extreme hating, if I had to be honest, but it was enough to upset me. Not a single soul could insult my favourite band, or hero as a matter fact, without me getting upset. No way.

Maybe it's because I wrecked a friendship the other day - possibly the only true friendship I currently have. But hey, I'm a pathetic loser, I tend to do stuff like this to myself. You probably won't read this, because I won't be advertising this blog on Twitter or anything like that, but I really am sorry for doing what I done. Technically, I didn't really do anything, I was just ranting, but you immediately thought it was about you, and then you started re-directing tweets to me, indirectly. And that upset me. It upset me so bad because I didn't want to see you do that, especially towards me. How could you do that to me when for the past few weeks, I've been there for you? I just don't understand. But maybe I don't matter to you anymore, because I'm not important to you. All because I don't share the same interest to you - anime. I'm sorry, I truly am. I don't want our friendship being awkward anymore. You hardly talk to me anymore, and I've apologised to you a billion times. Maybe that's not good enough. Maybe I should just move on. It's for the best.

Ugh, I just need a hug. But I can't even do that. I don't have many friends. It's sad, because the people I'm close to live miles and miles away, and there's a chance that I'll never ever meet them, and the only reason I'm close with these people is because they understand.

Ugh, screw this. I'm fed up of hiding. I'm fed up of acting like I'm happy when I'm truly not. I'm finished with blogging. I'm finished with everything.

Lost.

Hey..

Well, long time no blog. I'm bored shitless at home at 9am, and I've been reading My Chemical Romance reviews on Blogger, so I thought why not update my own blog, so here I am!!

So, I haven't really been up to much since I last blogged.... pft, what am I saying!? I've been up to A LOT. I've met my hero, I've seen two of my favourite bands live, I've met more of my heroes.. yeah, that's nothing, right? ;) So, I better fill you all in!

So, it was 19th October, the day I was seeing my hero in person, yes, I was finally seeing Stone Sour live!!

I woke up at 7am, just like I normally would for college, I quickly got dressed and got everything organised for what was going to be a very long day. I left my house at half seven, making my way to Camden Dingwells, all set to queue for 12 hours. Unfortunately, I wasn't going to get to my desired location as quick as I expected as I had ended up getting the school kids.

I sat at the bus stop waiting for my stupid bus for 10 minutes - which had seemed like an hour. Thankfully, not one of my buses - but five of my buses appeared. I managed to get on one of them and got a seat right by the engines so I could warm up. Oh, how I was going to enjoy the cold air today. It took me half an hour to get to Camden, which is actually longer than going any other time. I walked down Camden high street on my way to Dingwells, kind of weirded out by none of the markets being open. It was very weird for Camden to not be as busy as it usually is. I found the location in no time, and I was the first one there. I looked at the time and it was 8am. I had to wait another half an hour until Steph arrived. Thankfully, them minutes vanished quickly, and Steph was here. We stood by the doors of the venue, constantly complaining about how cold it was. I had then explained a story to Steph about how a weird guy came over to me asking if this was Dingwells and how he was going to get a truck around here for Stone Sour... that story had made my heart beat so fast as it had then hit me that I really will be seeing my heroes live.

It wasn't long until two other fans appeared, and thankfully, these girls were really nice. Their names were Mirela and Eli. We managed to make friends with them in no time. We sat there for hours and hours on end, until two other people (who's names I cannot remember) arrived. We all sat there for a few more hours, telling each other random Slipknot and Stone Sour stories, which thankfully kept us occupied until something great happened.

We noticed that bassist, Shawn Economaki had arrived. It had then struck us that the other members may be arriving any minute now, so we decided to split into three to guard both entrances. Mirela and the two other people went to the back entrance while Eli, Steph and I stood at the front entrance. It wasn't long until we had received a phonecall, meaning that people have arrived - it was then time to meet Jim Root and Josh Rand.

I was shaking so bad as I stood next to the very tall Jim. He looked down at me after taking a photo with Eli and I quietly said, "hi".. he then said "hello" and smiled down at me, which had made my heart melt. It was then my turn to get a photo with them, and they smiled! I was so psyched that I managed to meet them, I was just hoping that I'd meet the other three soon.

After Jim and Josh went into the venue, we all went back round the front. It was only seconds later that I recognised a laugh. I spun around to see a short man standing there, with that trademark hat on. I stopped breathing. It was Corey fucking Taylor. I started whispering a load of jibberish to Mirela, mostly saying, "he's here, he's here, Corey's there, oh my fuck" and using my eyes to point over to him. I couldn't believe this was happening. However, before I went over to meet him, we noticed that Roy Mayorga was here too!! We went over to Roy first to say hello, and get a photo. He seemed so thankful that we asked for a photo. He was so sweet, I love him!

It was then time to meet him. I felt a panic attack coming on. I stood in front of Corey, shaking like a leaf. I took a photo of Steph and him together, and then it was my turn. I politely asked for a photo and he was like, "Sure!" and I went and stood next to him. He wrapped his arm around my waist which had made me shake even more. He wasn't as fidgety in my photo like he was in everyone else's, but what can you expect? It's Corey Taylor, he doesn't know the meaning of "shut up!"... and that's the reason why most of the fans there had several photos with him. After the photo was taken, I looked up at him and quietly said "thank you", he then smiled over at me and said "You're welcome" and that was it, my life was complete. I knew exactly how I was going to act when I met him. I'd either be very shy and not say a word, make a fool out of myself and just... embarrass myself or be totally fine with him. I was shy and hardly said a word.

After hours and hours of queuing, it was then time to go and watch my heroes play life. Steph and I managed to get barrier, which was what I had always dreamt off when I first seen Corey perform life. Josh Rand, the rhythm guitarist that I had met earlier, had came over to us stood at the barrier and gave us his guitar plectrums, which I found ever so sweet. I swear, I just want to pinch his cheeks, he's so adorable!! :)

After about an hour of just standing there and waiting, it was then time for Stone Sour to come on stage and perform. They started off with Mission Statement and carried on with old hits and new hits for the next hour and fifteen minutes. My life was absolutely complete. I also received Jim Root's plectrum at the end of the show which means I have Josh's and Jim's plectrums!! :) And I swear Corey looked at me several times during the show which had definitely made my heart melt.

That was one of the best days of my life. I would do anything to relive it.

As for the other concert and meeting another special person, I'll post that in another blog later on. Until then, peace out! x

Obvious.

Hello Blog. ♥

So, I haven't blogged in a while... and that's mainly because I haven't been bothered and I haven't really had anything to blog about, but now I do and it's most likely going to be Kerrang! Awards based! :D

So, first award I think I'm going to talk about is Best British Newcomer.

Award One -- Best British Newcomer. Winner -- Rise To Remain

(Nominees - Deaf Havana, Generial Fiasco, Out Of Sight, Rise To Remain and Throats)

I was SO happy about the result of this award. I seen Rise To Remain live with Bullet For My Valentine in April and they were fantastic. They definitely deserved this award and maybe next year they can receive bigger awards and get the recognition they deserve!! :)

Award Two -- Best International Newcomer. Winner -- Trash Talk

(Nominees - Dommin, Framing Hanley, Halestorm, The Swellers and Trash Talk)

I wasn't entirely happy with the result for this one as I personally wanted Framing Hanley to win but I wasn't overly bothered anyway. Trash Talk are a good band so I'm glad they won at the same time.

Award Three -- Best Single. Winner -- You Me At Six - Liquid Confidence

(Nominees - Avenged Sevenfold - Nightmare, The Blackout - Save Ourselves, Four Year Strong - Wasting Time, Slipknot - Snuff and You Me At Six - Liquid Confidence)

Really unhappy about the result of this. I like You Me At Six and all but that song shouldn't have won. Either Nightmare from Avenged Sevenfold or Snuff from Slipknot should have won. Congratulations to You Me At Six, though!

Award Four -- Best Video. Winner -- Biffy Clyro - The Captain

(Nominees - 30 Seconds To Mars - Kings and Queens, Biffy Clyro - The Captain, Cancer Bats - Sabotage, Lostprophets - It's Not The End Of The World and Paramore - Brick By Boring Brick)

I wasn't overly bothered about the result of this award. Personally wanted Lostprophets to win but I'm glad Biffy Clyro did, they're an amazing band and make me proud to be Scottish! :)

Award Five -- Best Album Winner -- Paramore - Brand New Eyes

(Nominees - 30 Seconds To Mars - This Is War, Biffy Clyro - Only Revolutions, Bullet For My Valentine - Fever, Paramore - Brand New Eyes and You Me At Six - Hold Me Down)

This award result had REALLY angered me. I'm a huge Paramore fan and all but Bullet For My Valentine won this, end of story. Brand New Eyes is a good album but not good enough to win an award like this, I'm sorry, but that award should belong to BFMV.

Award Six -- Best Live Band Winner -- Bullet For My Valentine

(Nominees - 30 Seconds To Mars, Bullet For My Valentine, Green Day, Paramore and Skindred)

HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY! FUCKING HAPPY! I literally squealed when my boys won this award!! They deserved it! Best live band ever in my opinion! :D

Award Seven -- Best International Band Winner -- 30 Seconds To Mars

(Nominees - 30 Seconds To Mars, Avenged Sevenfold, Green Day, Metallica and Paramore)

I was VERY annoyed with the result of this award. How could 30 Seconds To Mars win this award when you have Avenged Sevenfold, Green Day AND Metallica in the same category!? The award was definitely given to the wrong band. End of story.

Award Eight -- Best British Band Winner -- Bullet For My Valentine

(Nominees - Bullet For My Valentine, Enter Shikari, The King Blues, Lostprophets and You Me At Six)

WOO FUCKING HOO! WE GOT TWO FUCKING AWARDS!! :D I was SO SO SO happy when we won this, and tbh, I was worried that we wouldn't but FUCK YEAH! My boys deserved this award and deffo deserve... THE BEST BAND IN THE WORLD!!

Other special awards were given out during the night that include:

The No Half Measures Award (Presented By Relentless Energy Drink): Frank Turner

The Classic Songwriter Award: Lostprophets

The Kerrang! Inspiration Award (Presented By HMV): Rammstein

The Kerrang! Services To Metal Award: Paul Gray

The Kerrang! Icon Award (Presented By Orange Amplification): Ronnie James Dio

The Kerrang! Hall Of Fame Award: Motley Crue

Happy about the results for them, too!! All of them deserved it. :)

Sayounara,

xoxo.

Jesus of Surburbia.

Hey.

I just need to let my heart out now. I'll probably deleted this post after writing it but it's mainly going to be about my cousin/parents/Scotland and that so.. uh..

I miss my three year old cousin, Tyler, so much... No one (apart from Georgia) understands how much he means to me. Last year I went and seen him each holiday I had as I was so stressed from school and that, and he made me so happy that I'd come back from Sussex so happy and set to hit the next few weeks of school. However, last time I seen him (which was back in March), I somehow had this feeling that I wasn't going to be seeing him any time soon when I left Sussex. I felt really emotional and stressed and everything when I went back to school. I didn't feel right and I miss him more than ever now. I love having a member of my family who only lives an hour away as the rest of my family all live up North in Scotland, 5 or so hours away. It costs me just under £10 to go see Tyler but to go to see the rest of my family it costs me around £100. I love going Scotland as well. Scotland is my home. I was born there, of course. I feel so happy when I'm there. I only get to go there once a year though. Twice if I'm lucky. But anyway, this summer, I keep mentioning going to see Tyler and the response I get is, "You're not going there" or "Give up Kayleigh"... yeah, that makes me feel really good. I don't understand why they won't let me? He's fucking locked up, fgs. What exactly is he going to do to me when he's in jail, huh!? And if you both think that there's something wrong with Cheryl then you're absolutely wrong. There is nothing wrong with Cheryl. Yeah, she's made mistakes in the past but ever since she had Tyler, she changed into a better person. She is an amazing, young lady that doesn't deserve the shit he gave her! The last time I was there, I felt like shit when ever he was there. When I was left to babysit Tyler... and make sure that he didn't drink... I was petrified because when I told him he couldn't drink, he still dragged us to the shop to buy more drink. I had no control over this. And he couldn't even be fucked to get Tyler dressed so instead he went in his shorts? Yeah, proves that drink meant a lot more to him than his own fucking son. That night, I sat in the kitchen bawling my eyes out. I wanted to go home. But then I thought correctly, I didn't want to go home, I wanted Cheryl to come home and I wanted to tell her everything. Cheryl is like the mum I never had. I trust Cheryl with my entire heart. When Cheryl did get home, it was when my mum and dad phoned, demanding to talk to him. That's when shit hit off and my dad proper shouted at him. He decided he wanted to sleep at Cheryl's that night and that scared me more because he was supposed to be staying in his bail house and be there before midnight, and if he wasn't there, the first place the police would come to will be Cheryl's. Now, if that happened, it'd be pretty scary getting questioned by them asking why your uncles here and that, eh? Anyway, I went to tell Cheryl that I was worried that they'd come and she shoo'd him off... and he beat people up that night.. and thinking about it, that may be my fault. It probably is. He's hated me his entire life. Wanted to kidnap me and everything. Beat my mum up and shit. Yeah. Well guess what? I hate your fucking guts too, and Tyler does NOT deserve a father like you, you fucking dick.

I'm sorry about the length of this blog. I've let my heart out.

Sayounara.

XOXO.

With Arms Wide Open.

Hey blog.

Long time no blog. I'm sorry. I've had no internet for a while and when I have had internet, I've had nothing to blog about... but now I have a lot to blog about, yay!! :D

So, news... I recently found out that after the passing of Paul Gray.. Slipknot are going to continue!! Joey Jordison (who I met heheh) who is the drummer of Slipknot said that there will definitely be another Slipknot record. I'm very happy because I absolutely adore Slipknot. But I'm just scared about what is going to happen to Paul's position in the band. Paul was an original member of Slipknot meaning that he's been in the band for over 10 years... he was mainly the song writer and unfortunately, he died this May. :( If he got replaced, I don't know how I'd feel tbh. But I'll only face that when the time comes as Slipknot are currently on a break.

Paul Gray.

Hm, other news... well, my mind is blank now. o_o I got my enrolment date for college yesterday. It's the same date as results day. Fun. I'm nervous but excited.. agggghh!! :D:(

Hm, this is going to be a short blog I think. I think I'm going to go run a nice hot bath. Really in the mood for that and I feel like shite anyway... hmmm. :)

Probably blog later. ♥

Sayounara.

xoxo.

Never Think.

Hello blog.

So, today has been uneventful as per usual! Ha, I always seem to start off my blog with that! xD Anyhow, yeah, I haven't really done much today apart from spend time with my cat and go tescos for my mum. x] Thinking about it, the day has flown by!! Jesus. I also got up before 12 today, well, 11:56am.. it's still before 12, so... SCORE! I'm currently drinking Monster. It's my favourite drink. Seriously. I'm addicted to this stuff. x]

Monster.

So, literally just 20 minutes ago, the scariest thing ever happened to me. I dropped my oyster card on the roof, and I need that oyster card to travel around London, so to get it back I had to climb out the window to grab it. Luckily, I'm skinny enough to fit out the small window so I managed to get out on the roof. I quickly grabbed my oyster card and a 50 pence coin that was there too. However, our roof is slightly tilted so I kinda went flying forwards towards the edge of the roof and fortunately, I managed to grab onto the pipe and make my way back to the window. It was difficult to get back in as there was no way in hell that I can go back in legs first but luckily my mum came running up and told me to go in head first and she'll pull me in, which happened. THANK GOD I'M STILL ALIVE, hah! :D

Anyway. Haven't got much to do now, got my Kerrang! magazine and it has a Bullet For My Valentine poster which I shall be sticking on my wall! Woohoo!

Sayounara..

xoxo.

Strength Of The World.

Hey blog.

Hmm, so today hasn't been eventful at all. Mainly just been online, I bet this is what most of my summer is going to consist of. No holiday, no meet ups, just being in doors all day. Woohoo, I live an interesting life. :)

So, I haven't really got anything to blog about. I'm mainly confused though... I don't understand what I've done wrong. I know I've upset you, it's so obvious, I don't understand why you won't talk to me about it though. You always seem upset when I say certain stuff etc, and you never respond to me when I ask if you're okay.. I don't get it. I haven't even done a single thing wrong. :S

Anyway, I've been on Twitter today and Mateo Camargo (Guitarist of Madina Lake) was asking us for girl advice... he basically found some "gorgeous" chick on Facebook and asked us all for advice on how to talk to her etc, and then obviously, someone had to ruin the bloody mood. And the way the bitch ruined it was totally unacceptable. She had said, "tell that your friend is without a third of his skull"... now that is completely out of order, right? I mean, she had no right to joke about Matthews condition, especially to someone who is his best friend. Totally fucked up, but I'm not going to complain any longer as Mateo told us to not fight over it and we should be more concerned and should be sending as much love as we can to Matthew, and that's what is most important right now..... and the chick who said it is now tweeting me, oh God.

Mateo Camargo.

Anyhow, I haven't really got anything more to blog about. All I want to say is that I don't want your feelings getting between us anymore. I hate the awkwardness, I really do.

Sayounara..

xoxo.

Stay Awake.

Hello blog.

Hmm, so, when I had no Internet, I began to have this random thinking session. It was a really weird/emotional thinking session... I began crying in the end anyways. I began thinking whether I was considered a best friend to anyone irl. :/ I've had a pretty rough past, I wasn't able to fit in with anyone in school until 2 years ago, everything went smoothly for like a year but now everythings awkward. I don't feel right anymore. I feel like I've taken a turn for the worst and just changed in a bad way recently. I feel like I've turned into a bitch and I don't want to be that. I want to be the quiet, nice girl like I have been the past years. My attitude has changed a lot too. And I'm not proud of it. I haven't really changed into this mega bitch where I'm rude to everyone and that, I've just... I dunno how to explain it. I'm still a nice girl, I love talking to people and shit like that but this thinking session makes me want to change back to the girl I was. I always also seem to be the one that's first to arrange something or whatever.. one day I'd love it if someone came to me and arranged something or whatever. Urgh, it's too confusing. Anyway, this whole random blog was just revolved around a question.. I am really actually beginning to wonder if I'm considered a best friend to anyone or if I'm just a person/friend to them. I have the best 3 friends, I couldn't ask for anything better but am I considered a true best friend to them? Or am I even considered a friend?

Sayounara.

xoxo.

We Say Summer.

Hello blog.

Oh my goddd, I haven't updated this in like four days, wth. Well, yet again, I've had no Internet and I only topped it up roughly an hour ago.. so I've got to blog about the past four days. Fun.

I wasn't really doing much on Friday and Saturday... mainly just sorting my iTunes out and my bedroom. I've managed to organise my posters. Have a wall for each thing. A Slipknot Wall... well, two of them. Mainly Corey though. x] A WWE wall, a Hardyz wall and a Bullet For My Valentine mirror/wall thingy. =] My wardrobes have Cristina Scabbia posters on them, yayy. I swear to God, Cristina Scabbia is most probably the beautifulist woman alive. I'd love to look like her. Seriously.

Cristina Scabbia.

Now, onto Sunday.. which was yesterday. Such a tiring day. I met Louis and Sylvia at 10am.. well, they were both like 5 minutes late but oh well, and we made our way to Seven Sisters tube station and got a tube to Victoria. Woo.. Louis and I sat on the tube listening to music together, found out that he likes Lacuna Coil.. SCORE! ;D But as soon as "Closer" came on, which is his favourite Lacuna Coil song, we had to get off the tube. We then got another tube from Victoria to Earls Court and then had to change again at Earls Court and get a tube to West Brompton where the cemetery was. We spent an hour in the cemetery and got some pretty good pictures and then decided to go to West End where we spent like.. 5 hours there? We firstly went Picadilly Circus and made our way to Leicester Square where there was a huge crowd... Louis and I began to wonder what it was and found out that it was the Toy Story 3 premiere! :3 I proper turned into a little kid there and saw Woody and Buzz haha. I'd upload a picture but blogger is being stupid. ): Anyway, after that we went to McDonalds and then Trafalgar Square where we got some more photography pictures... and then we walked around Oxford Circus and back to Trafalgar Square and then home again... was a proper tiring day and I didn't get home until 6 and I fell asleep around 7 and woke at midnight and fell asleep at 3 until 12!! haha.

So today hasn't really been eventful, mainly been doing some housework and that's it... lol.

End of blog..

Sayounara..

xoxo.

Dancing Dead.

Hello blog.

I didn't get to blog last night due to me being banned off my laptop due to my brother attacking me... yeah, weird huh? All that really happened was that I came home from cinema and then began talking to my dad about the Stone Sour/Avenged Sevenfold concert. Ross got into a mood thinking that my dad was buying me the tickets when I clearly state that I was going to get tickets and so he asked me to ask my dad to buy him Raw WWE tickets, and so I replied, "Ross, I think they have sold out, wait until the next tour in April and I'll take you with Louis" and so he hit me several times... and my mum banned me!? :S Okay then, weird shit. Anyway, positive stuff... I'm going to have to blog about today and yesterday so this will be a long blog lol.

Yesterday I went to go see Eclipse with Sylvia, Louis, Sam (Louis's sister) and their cousins. :) I swear to God, Eclipse was AMAZING! One of the best films from the Twilight Saga so far. I absolutely LOVED it. It was really romantic and hilarious... oh, and included a lot of Jasper. Yes, I'm a Hale lover... HALE YES! ♥

Eclipse poster.

Jackson Rathbone (Who plays Jasper Hale)

So, that's mainly what happened yesterday. Today, however, was a great day, too! Original plans were for Sylvia and I to go Central London for the day, but that didn't happen as the weather was rather shitty around half 12.. so we expected it to stay shitty throughout the entire day and decided to call it off and chill at Sylvias instead... so we did. :] We began to watch Deal or No Deal with Ana and began to get really into it... the guy dealt at £22,000 and just as Noel Edmonds was going to open the box... the channel buggered up! It wasn't even funny! Ana & Sylvia had tried everything to try and get it to work and eventually they did... but the box was closed, so we didn't get to see what was in it! Really unbelievable! However, after Deal or No Deal, the weather began to look better so Sylvia and I headed to Camden and spent an hour there. I bought a bracelet which was absolutely beautiful but it's way too tight around my wrist so I took it off. However, I bought me some Monster and cookies, woohoo!

I'm currently sat at home now listening to wonderful music and just looking forward to the next adventure out. :)

Sayounara.

xoxo.

Begging For Mercy.

Hello blog.. :)

So, todays been alright. Found out that Madina Lake were doing an afternoon gig (as I stated in my previous blog) and the tour dates for Stone Sour & Avenged Sevenfold got posted! :) So, that's more gigs to add to my list! :D

Really can't wait to see Stone Sour live. They're my favourite band, honestly. Fronted by my hero, Corey Taylor. :] The band means soooo much to me and it's a dream come true seeing them live.

Stone Sour

I'm also really excited to see Avenged Sevenfold, another band that means a lot to me. It's going to be emotional, though. Simply because Jimmy won't be there. I miss you so fucking much Jimmy. :(

Avenged Sevenfold.

I can't find the picture of just the four of them so I had to use this one.. Jimmy is there but I won't see him in October. ): He'll be there in each and everyone's hearts. FoREVer!

Anyhow.. going to see Eclipse tomorrow alongside Sylvia, Louis, Samantha (Louis's big sister), Kirsty and Michael (Louis's cousins)... should be good. :) Can't wait. It'll get me out of the house eventually. Also due to this, I don't have to work. xD YAY!

So, that's the end of my blogs for today... blog tomorrow. :)

Sayounara.

xoxo.

Me vs. The World

Hello blog. :]

Day set off rather good, actually. I woke up before 12 for once.. but I'm rather exhausted now. I found out literally an hour after I woke that Madina Lake will be doing an afternoon show on August 4th, so I immediately rang up my mum and asked her if I could go... she replied yes, so I'm going to see them. :] Obviously, Matthew won't be there due to the condition he's in and I have mixed feelings about them touring without him but I still want to see them.. so I can't wait. :]

Madina Lake.

I'm still shocked about what actually happened to Matthew. I'm glad he's okay though, I don't know what I would've done if we lost him on top of Jimmy and Paul. I'd be absolutely gutted. I'm sure his operation will go fine in the next few days though. I'm rather happy that I managed to make a get well soon video for him, though.. I hope he likes it. =]

Matthew Leone.

I'm currently listening to "Me Vs. The World".. meaningful song, absolutely love it.

Where did I go wrong

Choking on the difference between me and the World

And ever since you've been gone

I've been torn apart

I know that you can't hear me but I'm still hurt

And I wish you were still here.

Me Vs The World//Madina Lake.

Going to end this blog here.. will probably blog later on. :)

Sayounara.

xoxo.

Run.

Hello blog.. :)

Okay day today, sadly woke at 2pm though.. I really oughta sort my sleeping pattern out asap, I don't want to waste the summer away even though I'll be sat indoors most of the summer lol. Done a bit of cleaning today though. Hoping to re-organise my room tomorrow or something. Hopefully my dad will be able to help me though.

Tomorrow's Tuesday... and I have nothing to do. ._. My mum is working from 12-4 but Tuesdays is the day I don't work. D: Not like I want to work, though. I might go down to the pub with her, though. But that's all I'll probably be doing... I wish I had some plans. ._. Wednesday I'm working and Thursday I'm hopefully going Central.. it only looks like it's Sylvia and I are going though, which will still be cool. Hopefully she's still up to going if no one else is going lol. Friday I have work for 2 hours and that's it.. :]

So, nothing else really to blog about. Nothing interesting has happened recently so my blog is slightly un-interesting lol. I'm currently listening to Snow Patrol as you can probably tell by the blog title.. I really do love Snow Patrol, fucking fantastic band, honestly.

Snow Patrol.

Anyhow, this is the end of this blog for today. *yawn*.. hopefully I'm able to get an early night tonight, will probably come offline within the next half hour. Also hoping that my lip piercing doesn't hurt as much as it does tomorrow. Damn thing lol.

Sayounara.

xoxo.

Fever.

Hello blog..

I'm not in the best of moods just now. I'm fed up of always being pushed to the side, and there's only one person fucking doing that to me just the now. I don't get it. Why the hell do you only want to talk to me or know me when she's not here? The day before you fucking left to go on holiday you were like "oh, I miss you, I want us to be proper friends again.." and unfortunately, I believed you, and I thought I wanted to be 'proper friends' with you, too.. so I told you I was going to miss you while you were away, and fair do's, you talked to me while you were away, but only when she wasn't online. Hmm? You came home.. you didn't say one fucking word to me 'cause she was here. Yeah. Just like the past. Always pushing me to the side. Just like you fucking did with the other one. Only you pushed us both to the side and literally forgot about us. But now.. you're talking to me, because SHE'S NOT HERE. Ugh. Don't think I haven't noticed, I ain't dumb. You only want to talk to me because you have no one else to talk to, yeah, I get it alright.

I'm fed up. Not even my favourite bands can make me smile just now.

Sayounara.

XOXO.

Snuff.

Hello blog.. :)

So, it's now Sunday evening, 11th of July 2010, meaning that it's World Cup final day, woohoo! I'm excited.. mainly because by tomorrow, it'll all be over! :D I'm rooting for Spain to win now, even though literally 2 hours ago I said Holland... mainly because in this envelope thing at my mums work, you pay £10 and pick an envelope and on the World Cup final day you see what team you had in that envelope and my mum had Holland. xD My dad had Germany so he won £60 and I got £20 of it. However, mum decided to half the winnings with a friend so she got £130 and the guy who had Spain got £130... not bad. :-) I bloody had South Korea in my envelope... xD

I haven't really done anything today - just spent the day down the pub, doing fuck all as per usual. I'm home now though... and my fathers calling me to come downstairs. Urgh, he wants me to pick a pizza... looks like we're getting a pizza take away.. great. -.-

Anyway, haven't really got much to blog about. Need to plan stuff for next week, don't want to stay indoors all week lol.

Sayounara.

XOXO.

Hallelujah.

Hello blog... (:

So, while talking with Sylvia I finally decided that I was going to make another blogger and blog on this rather than doing major long posts on Tumblr.. becuase I don't think I'll ever use Tumblr to blog again, I just post random shite on there. :)

So um, where to begin!? Today hasn't really been eventful, done fuck all as per usual, hah. Mostly the same as yesterday. I haven't really done much since Thursday.. and Thursday was leavers assembly & prom, which was amazing!! :) Here's some pictures from then...

Leavers Assembly/T-Shirt signing...

Ferhat & I... ignore my face hah!

Sazan & I... absolutely adore this picture.

Igor and I... really like this picture! :)

Sylvia & I!! :) Love it.

Me, Louis, Sylvia & Sabreen. :)

Prom...

Joana and I.

Louis and I...

Didn't get any pictures with Sylvia or Sazan, unfortunately. :(

So, Sazan goes away tomorrow, going to miss her so much.. I wish we could've had a few more days out with her before she had to go but I guess that'll all happen in August instead. I hope I have a few days out with Sylvia & Louis though... we need to make summer eventful!! :)

Anyway, going to end this blog... will blog tomorrow! :)

Sayounara...

xoxo.