I just need to let my heart out now. I'll probably deleted this post after writing it but it's mainly going to be about my cousin/parents/Scotland and that so.. uh..
I miss my three year old cousin, Tyler, so much... No one (apart from Georgia) understands how much he means to me. Last year I went and seen him each holiday I had as I was so stressed from school and that, and he made me so happy that I'd come back from Sussex so happy and set to hit the next few weeks of school. However, last time I seen him (which was back in March), I somehow had this feeling that I wasn't going to be seeing him any time soon when I left Sussex. I felt really emotional and stressed and everything when I went back to school. I didn't feel right and I miss him more than ever now. I love having a member of my family who only lives an hour away as the rest of my family all live up North in Scotland, 5 or so hours away. It costs me just under £10 to go see Tyler but to go to see the rest of my family it costs me around £100. I love going Scotland as well. Scotland is my home. I was born there, of course. I feel so happy when I'm there. I only get to go there once a year though. Twice if I'm lucky. But anyway, this summer, I keep mentioning going to see Tyler and the response I get is, "You're not going there" or "Give up Kayleigh"... yeah, that makes me feel really good. I don't understand why they won't let me? He's fucking locked up, fgs. What exactly is he going to do to me when he's in jail, huh!? And if you both think that there's something wrong with Cheryl then you're absolutely wrong. There is nothing wrong with Cheryl. Yeah, she's made mistakes in the past but ever since she had Tyler, she changed into a better person. She is an amazing, young lady that doesn't deserve the shit he gave her! The last time I was there, I felt like shit when ever he was there. When I was left to babysit Tyler... and make sure that he didn't drink... I was petrified because when I told him he couldn't drink, he still dragged us to the shop to buy more drink. I had no control over this. And he couldn't even be fucked to get Tyler dressed so instead he went in his shorts? Yeah, proves that drink meant a lot more to him than his own fucking son. That night, I sat in the kitchen bawling my eyes out. I wanted to go home. But then I thought correctly, I didn't want to go home, I wanted Cheryl to come home and I wanted to tell her everything. Cheryl is like the mum I never had. I trust Cheryl with my entire heart. When Cheryl did get home, it was when my mum and dad phoned, demanding to talk to him. That's when shit hit off and my dad proper shouted at him. He decided he wanted to sleep at Cheryl's that night and that scared me more because he was supposed to be staying in his bail house and be there before midnight, and if he wasn't there, the first place the police would come to will be Cheryl's. Now, if that happened, it'd be pretty scary getting questioned by them asking why your uncles here and that, eh? Anyway, I went to tell Cheryl that I was worried that they'd come and she shoo'd him off... and he beat people up that night.. and thinking about it, that may be my fault. It probably is. He's hated me his entire life. Wanted to kidnap me and everything. Beat my mum up and shit. Yeah. Well guess what? I hate your fucking guts too, and Tyler does NOT deserve a father like you, you fucking dick.
I'm sorry about the length of this blog. I've let my heart out.
Sayounara.
XOXO.
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