TO BRIAN/CLOUD,

I didn't want to post this on MSN or Twitter or anything like that, so I decided to make use of my blog and, yeah, write this. >:D

Anyway. 2010 has been a good year to me, and it has been a good year mostly thanks to you. We've grown closer this year, and I'd pretty much to stay that way, because it's so nice knowing that I have you in my life. We've had our ups and downs, and having a stupid little fall out always brings me down, it makes me feel like shit, and I'd literally do anything to fix them fall outs. Anyway, not going to talk about that.

You've always been there for me when I've been down, like I've always been there for you. You're a true fucking friend to me, and they don't come around often in my life. Having a best friend like you definitely makes my life worth living, so yeah. :'] I always thank you after every time you cheer me up, but I always feel like thanking you isn't enough, but honestly, it means the entire world to me.

I hope we stay friends for a long time. I'm so glad I decided to call of any last minute plans to end 2010, and then enter 2011 with an amazing person like you. I hope 2011 brings you all of the happiness and luck in the world, because you deserve it more than anything. :)

Love you lots. :)

I hope when we meet again, I do actually know who you are, lmfao.

xxxx

NEW YEAR. NEW BLOG.

--LINK IN NEXT POST, IF INTERESTED~--

Will you be single over summer?
I hope not. >_>

Do you think someone likes the same person you like?
I don't know.

What was the last drink you had?
Coca Cola. ♡

Would you rather spend a day outside with friends or inside alone?
Hmm, depends. I'd love a day out with my friends who live further away. >:D

Do you have feelings for someone?
Yeah. (:

What do you currently hear right now?
Some song on TV, lmao.

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
I'd love to be in Scotland with my friends.

Does anyone love you?
I hope so. :S

How has the week been?
Pretty shit, pretty good.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
Kind of. :|

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Depends on the situation. (Y)

Could you handle living together with the last person you texted?
I can't remember who I last texted. :| Probably Brian. If so, then yeah.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
Kind of.

what does your last text message say?
"Be home at 11:30" from Dad.

Which would be more meaningful to you: I love you a lot, I love you so much?
'I love you so much'.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
Jeans.

Could you date someone taller than you?
Yeah.

You like pepsi or coke?
I like both, prefer coke.

Do you get along with EVERYONE in your family?
Nah.

Is the person you last texted single?
Nah.

Do you still like someone you shouldn't?
Nah.

Have you ever tripped in public?
Yes. >_>

Do you like long hugs?
Love them.

Did you sleep alone last night?
Yeah.

Are any of your friends taller than you?
Not a lot, actually.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed?
Yes.

Excited for anything?
Not necessarily.

Ever stayed up all night on the phone?
Naaah.

Have you hugged someone within the last week?
Yeah.

Is the room you are in right now clean or a mess?
Clean.

Is there anything you would like to tell someone?
No.

Do you fall for people easily?
No.

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
When I have long hair, I want short. When I have short hair, I want long, so...

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
Nah, love him. (Y)

Do you know what you're going to put as the subject of this?
Nope. x___x

What is the lowest grade you have right now?
Merit, lul.

Will you kiss the last person you kissed again?
No.

Do you have anything metal on you?
Aye. My lip stud.

What do you think about people who party?
Meh, don't care.

Does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?
My cousin? Of course.

Did you kiss someone more than 20 times in 09?
Naaah.

Think back to yesterday, what were you doing around this time?
Sleeping.

You think "I love you" are strong words?
Hm, yeah.

Last person you where in a car with other then family?
Cab driver. Lul.

Do any girls like the last person you kissed?
Probs.

Someone leaves a note and flowers on your car, cute or tacky?
Depends.

Is there someone that you can go to in sweats, hair a mess and still feel comfy?
Ayeee.

Do you have any hickeys?
Nup.

Is there a member of the opposite sex that makes you cry a lot?
My dad?

Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a boy?
No.

Do you fall for people easily?
Not really.

Do you have to sleep with a television on?
I can't. xD

Do you think you are a good person?
Yeah.

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance?
Mhm.

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Sleepin'.

Has anyone ever sang to you?
Aye.

Do you like your best friend's boyfriend/girlfriend?
One of my bestie's has one amazing girlfriend. 8D

Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo?
Nope.

Who is the funniest person to talk to drunk?
My dad. :| Or Brian.

Are you dating the last person you kissed?
Naah.

Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
Yeah.

Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time?
No.

What's something you've been doing all your life?
Breathing dude.

Don't tell me lies, have you been under the influence in the past 24 hours?
No.

Do you think someone has feelings for you?
I hope that certain someone does.

Do you think two people can last forever?
Yeah.

Will you regret your next kiss?
Who knows?

The person you like at the moment finds someone new, what is your reaction?
I'd probably become a state. :l

Have you found someone that you really, really, really like?
Yeah. :) And I've stuck by that person for exactly 2 years. <3

Do you like to cuddle?
Yes. ^___^

Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months?
Well, if I've lasted 2 years with the same person, I'd like to think I'd last more, so yeah?

Have you ever kissed someone who smokes?
Yeah.

Are you excited for anything?
Hmm. Not entirely. Kind of tomorrow.

How are you feeling right now?
Pretty good, I guess.

What are you doing right now?
Writing out this, tweeting and playing games with Brian over MSN. <3

What should you be doing right now?
Tidying. :l

Are you worried about anything right now?
Yeah.

Do you hate the last person you kissed?
Hmm. Yeah. Could say so.

What will your next piercing be?
Either the other side of my lip, or a nose piercing.

Who was the last person you spoke to on your cell?
Mother, I think.

When was the last time you watched a horror movie?
Erm, can't quite remember.

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
I have no idea.

Did you have any unread messages when you woke up today?
No. No one loves me.

Do you take walks often?
Not as much as I'd like to.

Are you texting anyone right now?
Nope. No credit.

Are you going to get hurt anytime soon?
Well, it's usual for me to get hurt, so probably, yeah.

Why are you confused?
I'm confused? Oh. Thanks for confusing me. You confuser.

Has someone ever made you a big promise & broke it?
Yeah.

Are you currently talking to/ texting/ instant messaging anyone?
Two out of three, there. ;D

Do you prefer drinking water from a bottle or from the sink?
From a bottle, fo sure.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past four days?
Only with my cousin.

Who’s the last person you had a long phone call with?
My mum. Cause I'm a loner.

Who makes you the happiest?
All of my friends. :]

What’s the last thing you drank?
PEPSI BABY!

Where’s your cell phone?
Upstairs.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
Yeah.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
No. I'm in a fucking dressing gown.

Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind?
Always.

How do you sleep? On your stomach, back, side, etc?
Only really on my side. Sometimes stomach/back, though.

Would it hurt seeing the person you last kissed kissing someone else?
Nah.

Do you own a lighter?
Nope.

If you rented an apartment, would you rather be on the top or bottom floor?
I don't know. x] I think bottom~

Do you think people talk about you behind ur back?
Oh. I live knowing that people talk about me behind my back.

Name something you’re doing tomorrow?
Nothing. Fun, huh?

Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours?
Hugged, yeah.

Can you commit to one person and one person only?
Yes.

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away?
Mhhm.

People that have saved me.

Okay. I'm going to do a major long blog post now, and it's going to just include those people that have saved me, and have made me who I am today, so yeah... enjoy reading, I guess?

Corey Taylor:

Okay. Anyone who knows me obviously knows that I have never-ending love for this specific man. Corey Todd Taylor has saved my life in so many ways. His music just amazes me, he is so talented, as are the other band members in both of his bands (who I love, too). The lyrics he creates always seems to affect me, in a good way, obviously. It's sometimes as if he understands me. Sounds pathetic, I know, but it's just how I feel. Even knowing that a few years ago, he tried to end his own life through suicide really, really, upsets me. I seriously cry at the thought of that happening. It has proven to me that you do -not- need to end your life to end all of your problems, because you can resolve them problems and then those problems will go away. I've been drawn to suicide many times, but this man has stopped me from it. Whether it's by listening to his music, his interviews, reading about him, or even him tweeting, it's stopped me, and I'm so fucking thankful. Having him sending me that one private message over Twitter made my entire life. He knows that I have potential in life, and he wants me to prove that to people that have always brought me down, and that's something that every human wants from their hero. I even had the priveledge of meeting this man, after 3 years of looking up to him, and that was by far, the best day of my entire life. So, thank you so much, Corey, for making me who I am today.

Madina Lake:

This band has changed me in so many different ways. I've loved them since the day they started, and my love for them has never left. Like I said with Corey, their lyrics in actually /all/ of their songs relate to how I feel, and all of their songs have that reassurance in them that everything will still be okay. These guys are true and utter heroes, and all four of them are completely oblivious to it. Having Matthew Leone (far left) being voted as Hero of the Year in the recent Kerrang! Magazine Readers' Poll made me so fucking proud of him and the band, because there is no other man that deserved that spot after all the shit Matthew went through earlier this year. It amazes me that the entire music family came together for the first time in ages to give Matthew their well wishes, and actually proclaim him a hero and a legend, even if them people despise the music he creates, and that proves a lot. The reassurance in all of their songs have saved my life, and being able to thank Nathan Leone (second to right) and Dan Torelli (far right) personally made my life, and knowing that Nathan and Dan (and of course, Mateo and Matthew) love me means so much to me, even hearing them say it to my face made my life worth living. Thank you so much, you dorks. <3

Sylvia Dos Santos:

This will be my last thank you for this blog post, and that beautiful girl up there is one of the best friends a girl could ever have. Sylvia and I haven't had the best of years as the beginning of the year really brought a downfall to our friendship, and if I had to be honest, those first few months were the worst months of my entire life. I always tell this girl how much she means to me, and I thank her as much as I can, but no matter how much I thank her, I still don't feel like I've thanked her enough. I do believe she's oblivious to the fact that she's one of the main people in my life that have saved me, because I've never told her that, but now I'm saying it, and I'm thanking her once again. So, thank you so fucking much, Sylvia, for changing me into the person I am today, and I believe I'm a better person than I was a few years back. We seem to be drifting apart again, because I haven't spoken to you in what seems and feels like forever, and I haven't seen you in what seems and also feels forever. I never, ever, want to lose you as a best friend, because you mean my entire life, and I never thought that I stupid girl like me would be able to have a fantastic, caring, beautiful best friend like you in my life. So thank you SO much, and I love you millions.

xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks for forgetting me.

It's nice to know that you still care.

If you fucking missed me, you'd make an effort to see me.

Whatever.